and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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