Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
