do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
