The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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