Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
She said her name was "party"
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize