redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
