I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You are the jesus of drinking
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
