You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
