I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize