I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
