I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
