A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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