I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
