I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
