I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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