Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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