What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
