I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
