dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
