She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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