Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
