Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
