if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
