im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
