i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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