haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
