I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
