Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
