If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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