Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
