id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
