so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
