her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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