and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
