In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Randomize
