so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
