i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
