i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
