Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
