The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
