I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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