addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
