smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
