White coat. Heels.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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