Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
