you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
