Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
