Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
the liver wants what the liver wants
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
