Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
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