I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
