They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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