The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
