If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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