we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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