I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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