conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
