the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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