i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
operation have a gay friend backfired
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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