found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
