I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
