I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
