on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize