i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
well you can't waste a boner
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
