if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
the raccoons are back...
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