You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
