yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
