she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
