You really coming over, don't trick.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
