This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize