thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
